November 25, 2012

I Won The Worst Swag - Ever

I was the Black Friday winner of Saving Casey's temporary face tattoos, from my fellow author and critique partner, Liza O'Connor. Check out my new tats!  (below)

How to Mar Your Beauty with Saving Casey's Tattoos:

So, you wish to be a ghoul.

1) Wash face. Temp tattoos do best on clean face.


2) Then dry your face. Your tats will not stick on a wet surface.


3) Cut around your tats as close as you can with scissors) Decide exactly where you want to put it. (This is your last chance to decide it might look better on your arm or ass than your face). Also, don't put it on the soft tissue of your bottom eyelid.  Pay attention exactly where you wish to place them so they are symmetrical.


4) With DRY hands, remove the shiny side of plastic.


5) Apply the tattoo to your skin and press firmly for 20 seconds. (If you have second thoughts during your twenty seconds, it is TOO LATE -keep going.)


6) With a slightly wet, preferably new, and certainly clean sponge, press against the white paper now adhered to your once pretty face. Make sure you get all of it wet, including the sections near your eyes and the bottom tips and edges.


7) When the paper backing become transparent so you see the 'crap, why did I do this' tattoo beneath, gently remove the backing. If you meet resistance, apply the sponge a bit longer to that section.


8) Once the backing is removed from the first tattoo, then comes the hard part: Try and put the second tattoo in the same location on the other side. 


But Liza, I cannot see anything but the paper backing.


Liza's response:
Umm, Thanks, Liza?
That's why it's the hard part. Hope you remember exactly how far from the eye you placed the first.

Once you have both tats on, go out and buy several packets of eye liner pencils and 1 black lipstick. (opps, I should have mentioned that earlier. My bad.)

Buy my book, Saving Casey, or go to my website www.LizaOConnor.com and study the eye area of Cass. Then start coloring (with the black eyeliner.) It will take several pencils to get the job done. You'll be surprised how little eyeliner you get in an eyeliner pencil.


But Liza, I've got this blank space between my lower lid and the tat.


Liza's response: I sure do hope so. Color it in with the eyeliner pencil.


But Liza, I've run out of eyeliner pencils.


Liza's response: Go back to the store and buy more. The store clerks could use another laugh.

Now once you've achieved full 'Saving Casey' status, go out and achieve your objectives, only try not to put Grams in the hospital. You'll feel terrible if you do and I'm poor as a starving artist is supposed to be, so suing me is useless...besides I told you not to do it.

Removal of Tattoos:


Okay, you've come to sanity, and just like New Cass, you realize you do not want to go through life having people gasp, curse, and laugh at you. (Polite strangers will gasp, Relatives and friends will ask 'What the hell have you done to your face?!!!! and rude strangers will point and laugh.)


You're feeling a bit like the elephant man and want to be normal again.


With your nail, lift one corner of the tattoo off the skin and gently tug. If you have had it on long enough for it to dry, it should come off like a bandaid.  HOWEVER, if like me, you want to remove the hideous tats at once. (I know what I was thinking, when I put the tat on. I couldn't ask my teenage actress to put it on until a)I could tell her how to do so, and b) ensure it actually would come off. But what were you thinking?)


Plea to Liza: Well, I did put on the tattoo, and I hate it and want it off immediately. Only it's not peeling off like you said it would. It's rolling into clumps.


Liza's response: Been there, done that. Don't panic. They say you can apply acetone to your face with a cotton ball.


But Liza, you didn't tell me to buy acetone.


Liza's response:  Honestly, I didn't expect you to put this tattoo on your face at all, but if you were so playful to do so, then I expected you to wear it long enough for the adhesive to dry out a bit. However, I didn't have acetone lying about my house either, and so I got a warm washcloth and gently scrubbed my face, peeling more and more of the balled tattoo off. Took me about five minutes vs. two seconds to remove, but compared to New Cass who has to go through 8-20 painful procedures to get her tats removed, I still have to call it an easy removal.


 Liza, you aren't funny.

Liza's response: OUCH, THAT HURTS!

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